I learned about it on my birthday last year. I had no idea he was in so much trouble. We were divorced in 2004, he had a good job that he enjoyed, and I thought he was doing well. Wrong answer.
I last saw him at a local gas station in 2013, and he seemed to be doing well. I hugged him, part of me will always love him, of course. We were married for 13 years, and that’s something, more than enough. He was a good man and we held no grudges. We had our problems, but if I knew he was under that kind of stress, the “my life isn’t worth anything” kind of trouble, my husband who had been sober for over 20 years would have gone over to see him and talk to him. He would have tried to help.
When someone you love kills themselves with a gun, it’s just sickening. It takes some time to get over it. There are just no words for it. Maybe I’ll never get over it completely, the scars remain. So we remember and honor the dead by trying to live well, no matter what. Some days that’s all we can do. And remember, no matter what.
Christie and I were recently dining out after a long day at work. As we were both seated at our table, I noticed another couple nearby, who apparently were living in their own world. Unfortunately, they were so caught up in their own individual interests, that they never even made eye contact with each other for long periods of time. In other words, here was another couple who were much more interested in their cyber world inside their own cell phones than anything going on in their immediate real world surroundings.
As they sat there in silence, I noticed a waitress who stopped at their table to fill up their coffee cups. She carefully poured the coffee, but this self-absorbed man and woman were too “busy” to even acknowledge her gracious service, much less offer a “thank you”. There are many reasons why we all devote too much time to our electronic devices, but to be so consumed and focused on a small cell phone while we miss real opportunities to interact with the world around us, is dangerously tragic.
This was yet another reminder for me and Christie. How interesting and sad that a couple who were actually older than us (imagine that! Ha!), had reached a point in their life where the only thing that could hold their interest for the moment was a small hand-held screen. Knowing I have been given a second chance at life, I am probably more aware of my surroundings, and how much wasted time I myself have spent on my phone and how important it is to enjoy the relationships God has given me. Sometimes they are sitting right across the dinner table from us, and that is why I never want to lose sight of my bride and her interests, even if I have to ignore your important phone call or Facebook post. No, the devices are not evil, but let’s remember Paul’s words in Ephesians 5, to make the most of our time, because the days we live in are evil. You would probably laugh at the times I have failed to blog! When given the choice, I prefer face to face communication (or by radio!), but for the sake of this blog, that simple dinner was a great reminder for me and Christie to be more aware of our surroundings, and most importantly each other!
I recently heard someone say “If I do this wrong-doing or that wrong-doing, God may take my kids away.” Can I just tell you God does not work like that. If that were true that means, we can only live a Christian life by good works. God is not a God of good works, the bible actually says, there are no good works we could do to earn our place in heaven. Yes, we should have a healthy fear of God, but not fearful. In my opinion when we become a Christian and start living a new life, we strive to please God and try not to disappoint Him in any way, but guess what we do. I know for myself that when I became a Christian I knew I was going to fall short every day, and I do. But I do not fear that because of my falling short, that God is going to do something horrible, or take my children away from me, or anything else along those lines. I think “Religion” not “Relationship” has made people show God in a way He does not want to be represented, that is what turns God off to others. Would you want to love someone only under the conditions that you had to be good all the time? God does not want that kind of love with us either, He wants to show us a kind, amazingly loving, forgiving, father, but yet, a strong Father that wants to discipline his children in the way a father should reprimand His children. God is a loving God; He loves you more than you will ever know. Sin entered the world when Eve disobeyed God and ate that stupid apple…. (when I am eating an apple I cannot believe that small little fruit is what turned the world upside down…and yes, I have a bone to pick with her when I get up there.) God intended for us to have a perfect world until she made that one wrong choice. Which shows us that we do have consequences for our actions, but HE never stops loving us, always holding his arms out to comfort us as little children. I don’t understand when something bad happens, we tend to blame God. God does not do these things, “Satan” does. As the word says “Satan” comes to still, kill and destroy. Friends I want you to know the God I know on such a personal level. Hopefully you will finally find the answers you need to fill that void in your life that no one can fill other than Him.
Ronnie and Christie
I cannot begin to tell you how much it means to me to have Ronnie get up in the mornings, sit on our bed, read the word to me, and then pray. There are some mornings I don’t feel like listening, (just being honest) but by the time he finishes, I am a totally different person. In a marriage this is such an important piece that needs to be done by both parties. When one of you are down, the other can lift you up. Going through some hard times the past few years, my husband may not even realize how he is pouring into my life. He is consistent, he is showing me security, stability, and just how much he loves me by doing exactly what God has called him to do. I think this is so important for husbands and wives to give each other the gift of knowing Jesus more and more each day. Try to make a point every morning before the both of you leave home, that one of you share the word with the other continuously soaking in the word of God. Pour into each other’s lives as much as you can…you will be amazed of how it will bring you closer to each other and closer to Him. With Your Word as our source of wisdom, I trust Your Word to fill our home and relationship. Ronnie and Christie
8 He has showered his kindness on us, along with all wisdom and understanding.
17 asking God, the glorious Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, to give you spiritual wisdom and insight so that you might grow in your knowledge of God.
5 If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.